Athletes Going Broke

 Why do professional athletes, even those who make millions of dollars per year during the peak of their career, end up broke just a few years after they retire? This is a question with a simpler answer than you may think, and no, the answer is most definitely NOT to pay them more. Simply, these athletes live as if they will make this much money for the rest of their life, when, in reality, they have maybe 10 years during their life when their career will pay them as lavishly as they do. When pro athletes spend their money as soon as they get it, they end up broke once the checks stop coming in. Whether it is retirement, injury, or another event that ends an athletes' career, the athlete will not be able to earn money by playing his or her sport forever. This sudden halt in income can cause many players who have squandered their money instead of saving it to file for bankruptcy soon after they retire from their profession.
 In the NFL and the NBA, well more than half of its players are broke and jobless within 2 years of their retirement from the league. According to Sports Illustrated, "70 percent of NFL players will be broke 2-4 years after leaving the league. In the NBA, 60 percent are broke just five years after retirement." These are mostly players who never made a large impact on a team and are out of the league after a few seasons. In many cases, these are players who grew up in very tough situations and never learned how to correctly manage their money. If they went to college, in most cases, it was on a scholarship based on true profeciency at their sport and their education was an afterthought. This leads to disaster after their career in sports ends because they can no longer earn money playing proffesional sports and have no degree with which they can continue to earn money and further their lives.
 However, not all of the athletes filing for bankruptcy were small-time players who never made it in their sport. Many, many athletes that were extremely successful in their proffesional career and made millions upon millions of dollars have file for bankruptcy after their playing days were over. Even household names such as Mike Tyson and Allen Iverson, both of whom garnered well over 200 million dollars throughout their professional sports careers, have filed for bankruptcy since their respective retirements. There is little pity for these athletes because of just how much money they have squandered, however, there are those that are sympathetic because of the situations that these athletes grew up in and the utter lack of preparation these athletes receive for how to handle the extreme wealth that came to them following their massive success in proffesional sports. Living a lavish lifestyle has been a part of the culture for professional athletes for decades, however, athletes have also been going broke just years after their retirements for decades as well. Some people never learn.
Here is a Relatively Short List of Most Notable Atheletes to File for Bankruptcy After Retirement:
Mike Tyson (boxer) : $300 million peak wealth
Evander Holyfield (boxer): $250 million career earnings
Allen Iverson (basketball): over $180 million career earnings
Antoine Walker (basketball): almost $120 million total earnings
Latrell Spreewell (basketball): more than $95 million career earnings
Lawrence Taylor (football): more than $50 million total earnings
John Daly (golf): almost $60 million total earnings
Kenny Anderson (basketball): more than $60 million career earnings

The list goes on and on and on. Causes of this absolutely massive loss of wealth are attributed to gambling, partying, bad real estate investment, divorce, child support payments, misguided video game investment, expensive cars, paying for friends, or for a variety of other reasons depending on the player in question. Expenditures such as these lead to millions of dollars disappearing more quickly than expected for many atheletes, though the problem is getting more attention and may soon slow down.

Self-Deprecation: Pet Peeves

Levi Kahn

Self-Deprecation

1/8/14

1) When people, like, can’t go one sentence without, like, saying like. It, like, ruins what otherwise could have been, like, an intelligent, and like, articulate thing to say.

2) When people can’t go two sentences without saying literally and either a) don’t mean it, b) don’t need to say it, or c) don’t appear to understand the meaning of the word. If a person prefaces a statement with the word literally and then proceeds to exaggerate, I am forced to hold back an incredible urge to explain to them how ridiculous they sound.

3) When people can’t go three sentences without saying legit, an apparent hyphenation of the actual English word legitimately. The rampant, out of control use of this word in particular bares no comprehensible meaning and not only contributes nothing to the sentence in which it is used but takes away from what had the possibility of being an intelligent, well-thought out statement and instead turned it into a pointless, useless, blabbering statement of inconsequential nonsense through the use of that one “word” that is not quite a word.

4) People who root against the home town team and/or for another team for no apparent reason. This shouldn’t bother any sane person, but I find an unusual amount of anger in people rooting against their hometown professional team and for another city’s team just to be different.

5) While eating assorted candy, being asked for “a red one” or another specific color. Oh, sure, let me dig through my half-eaten box of Mike and Ike’s to find you a red one. Not only are you asking me for a piece of the candy that I spent my own hard-earned money on, but you have the gall to ask me for a specific flavor. That could even be my personal favorite flavor, in which case I am giving up my favorite kind of my favorite candy to please your every desire as if I am waiting your table, which I am most decidedly not and never will be doing. But, trust me, I’m so glad I was able to provide you with your favorite flavor. How awful a friend I would have been if I only gave you a piece of my candy that was your second or, God forbid, third favorite flavor.

6) Suburban kids who are convinced that they are hardcore gangsters. I’m not one to judge, but I have a feeling that living at your mom’s house blaring Chief Keef at 25 years old is not exactly considered successful. But then again who am I to talk.

7) Republicans. Sorry.

8) Rednecks. Again, sorry.

9) Drunks (see item #8)

9B) Smokers (see item #9)

10) The apparent failure of the American education system to provide their students with a basic understanding of the differences between there, their, and they’re. Also, the lack of comprehension of the difference between your and you’re is outstanding.

Album Review: Dylan and the Dead

   The 1989 live album, Dylan and the Dead, was recorded by Bob Dylan and The Grateful Dead. Dylan and the Dead is made up of the finest songs from the American tour that the two famous musicians did together. Performing exclusively Dylan-penned material, the Grateful Dead provided possibly the world's most well known backing band of all time. However, the Dea were hardly in their prime in 1989 and Dylan's already gravelly voice had regressed to an ugly, nasal attack on the microphone. Jerry Garcia's drug-induced health issues had previously left him in a diabetic coma for weeks, and by 1989 he was but a shadow of his former self.

   The album is fairly short, clocking in at just a few seconds over 43 minutes long, in other words, roughly one third of a usual Grateful Dead show. The first track is a decidedly average rendition of 'Slow Train' that was performed in Foxborough, Massachusetts. Dylan sounds worse than ever and although the Dead give the song an interesting jammy feel to it, 'Slow Train' kicks off Dylan and the Dead to an unimpressive start. The first side of the album continues with an awesome version of one of my favorite under appreciated Dylan classics 'I Want You' which is perfectly suited to Dylan's gravel voice and Garcia's psychedelic-folk riffs that made the Dead so famous. One of the best tracks on the album, 'I Want You' has the album headed in the right direction. The final two songs of the four-song A-side to the album are 'Gotta Serve Somebody' and 'Queen Jane Approximately', respectively. These are also two of Dylan's finest songs and two of my personal favorite Dylan jams, but neither live version does any justice. Dylan sounds so ancient rattling off the stanzas of 'Gotta Serve Somebody', once one of his fiercest songs, that the audience almost feels bad for the man. 'Queen Jane' is also below average despite the best efforts of the Dead to keep the audience interested.

   The B-Side begins with a long, sloppy rendition of 'Joey' recorded in Foxborough that could not be saved by the all-time greatest jam band. The longest song on the album, 'Joey' leaves the listener with nine minutes of average concert material from the Grateful Dead at this time, which was far past their glory days of the 1970s and early 80s. Closing the album with the album's two best songs, 'All Along the Watchtower' followed by 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door' leave the listener with a good final impression, but neither is near the quality of work that Dylan or the Dead had put out in their lifetime. Dylan sounds almost as old as Jerry looks, and the album's closing track makes the audience wonder just how long Bob Dylan and Jerry Garcia have before they are literally "knocking on heaven's door".

   Overall, I would rate the album a 6 out of 10 because it has it's bright spots on both sides of the album, but is nowhere near the quality of material that each artist had out out throughout their glorious careers'. Dylan and the Dead is definetly worth a listen, but be forewarned that this is not the Bob Dylan from Highway 61 and these are not the Grateful Dead from American Beauty.

H$PPY HOLIDAY$!!!

H$PPY HOLIDAY$!!!

            As a country, Americans spend over 228 million dollars every year shopping for holidays. That’s more than $228,000,000 spent on gifts, food, and the other accessories that go into making holidays the wonderful, joyful time of the year they are. Although the holidays bring cheer and happiness to Americans across the country, we spend far too much money every year. Almost 150 million dollars every year are spent on Christmas alone, the most costly of all the holidays in America. If we could spend less money each year on holidays, an amazing amount of money could be saved throughout the country. Furthermore, if we spent half of what we now spend as a country and spent it on charity organizations, the money would go to a much greater use than more toys and games for the already privileged children in this country.

            Christmas, of course, is by far the most expensive holiday in this country. Christmas rakes in about 130 million dollars, and that number is growing with every passing year. This accounts for nearly 60% of all the money spent on holidays. Second place goes to Thanksgiving, as the November food-infested celebration rakes in over $30 million every year. Spending so much money every year to eat turkey and stuffing, and buy the latest Xbox and PlayStation is ridiculous. The money could be used, as a real tribute to the Pilgrims and to Jesus, to support good causes and charities that give the money to those less fortunate, displaying the values bestowed upon us by those for which we celebrate the holidays in the first place. Do your sons/daughters really need one thousand dollars of presents again? Or could that money be spent in a more thoughtful, productive way instead?

           

 Levi Kahn

Album Review Examples

hotnewhiphop.com Stay Trippy by Juicy J- 7.5/10
sputnikmusic.com Animals by Pink Floyd- 5.0/5
allmusic.com Thick as a Brick by Jethro Tull- 4.6/5
rollingstone.com Ringo 2012 by Ringo Starr- 3.0/5
rollingstone.com Coda by Led Zeppelin- 4.0/5
pitchfork.com Boats II by 2 Chainz- 6.2/10

Bluff The Listener

Levi Kahn

            Hawaii Woman with 40-Character Surname Not Allowed License, Vote

Lokelani Khineuhanilahenualkiaklekiliamaenanelili, a young Hawaiian woman, was not issued a license or identification by the Kauai County government because of her 40-character surname. The county could not fit the woman’s full last name on a license card, much less her first name or middle initial. Deciding not to issue her any license or identification at all, Kauai County found itself a victim of its own indiscretion when Khineuhanilahenualkiaklekiliamaenanelili was pulled over for a routine traffic stop and was promptly taken to the town’s police station for driving without any form of license or identification, despite her protests that she was denied identification due to her lengthy surname. The county realized that they had denied license and ID because of the length of her surname, and Khineuhanilahenualkiaklekiliamaenanelili also claimed that she had been denied the right to vote for the same reason as her arrest: no form of license or identification. The indiscretion has since been corrected and Lokelani Khineuhanilahenualkiaklekiliamaenanelili is now a fully licensed, registered citizen of Kauai County, as well as an easily identifiable citizen thanks to her impressive last name.

           Company Sending Stuffed Animals on Vacation is Launched

A company in Tokyo is sending stuffed animals on vacation. The business is run by a 38 year old woman who feels that providing vacations for stuffed animals is therapeutic for people who can’t experience vacations for themselves. Apparently, clients who aren’t able to afford vacations or have disabilities are often relieved when they receive pictures of their plush toy in the center of Tokyo, or other landmarks. The best part is the cost of sending your stuffed animal around Japan is only about $50.

Ethos Pathos Logos

In the article, '5 Reasons the Miami Heat will not win the NBA Finals' displays why the two-time defending NBA champions will not win a third straight title. The "ethos" that this article presents to the reader is that the article is written by Conor Volpe, a leading NBA expert and contributor for Bleacher Report. Pathos is shown several times throughout the article, including this sentence, in which Volpe appeals to the reader giving multiple reasons why the Heat won't win again: 'Bottom line, it is extremely hard to go to three consecutive finals, much less a fourth. And that is what the Heat would have to do this year. ' The phrase "extrememly hard" appeals to the readers' feelings, giving reasons why the Heat will not repeat their success. Finally, logos is displayed in this quote in particular, 'Only three times in NBA history has a team made it to the NBA Finals four years in a row. Once when Bill Russell led the Celtics to nine championships in 10 years. Once when Magic Johnson and the showtime Lakers won two in four years. And once when Larry Bird led the Celtics to two championships in four tries.' By giving historic facts to back up how hard it is for a team to continue such prolonged success as the Heat are attempting to do, the author utilizes a great example of logos.